Jealousy Management

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I recently attended a workshop entitled “Making Friends with Jealousy” being taught by Dossie Easton at Poly Living West.  As usual, Dossie led an excellent workshop; even though a lot of the ground she was covering was material I already knew, it’s always good to get a new perspective on it, and to reexamine it in light of one’s current life situation.

One of the really cool things she mentioned, however, was related to the technique of taking a “timeout” before jumping into a confrontation with a partner.  Let’s say you hit a sudden landmine in your relationship (either due to jealousy or some other triggering event), and at least one of you is ready to explode with grief, anger, panic, or another strong emotion.  Instead of attacking, you each go and spend at least fifteen minutes on your own, doing whatever works to calm you down.  Exactly what is best differs from person to person; she mentioned activities varying from dancing out the feeling to sitting calmly working on a crossword puzzle.
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Pain: She’s Gotta Have It

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Sometimes I have a strong craving to be hurt, to receive pain.  It’s not an endorphin high I’m seeking, instead it’s an actual desire to feel an extreme sensation.  I am lucky to have sadistic lovers in my life, but what to do when they’re out of town or otherwise occupied?

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