I got into a discussion on a poly list about how online dating services develop specific rituals, and if you deviate from these, it often means no dates. I wrote up the following advice list for poly men who are looking for poly women on OkCupid, which is the situation I am most familiar with.
Your mileage may vary, and probably does. I would love to hear about what works differently for you, especially if you are in a different gender search arrangement.
I recently attended a workshop entitled “Making Friends with Jealousy” being taught by Dossie Easton at Poly Living West. As usual, Dossie led an excellent workshop; even though a lot of the ground she was covering was material I already knew, it’s always good to get a new perspective on it, and to reexamine it in light of one’s current life situation.
One of the really cool things she mentioned, however, was related to the technique of taking a “timeout” before jumping into a confrontation with a partner. Let’s say you hit a sudden landmine in your relationship (either due to jealousy or some other triggering event), and at least one of you is ready to explode with grief, anger, panic, or another strong emotion. Instead of attacking, you each go and spend at least fifteen minutes on your own, doing whatever works to calm you down. Exactly what is best differs from person to person; she mentioned activities varying from dancing out the feeling to sitting calmly working on a crossword puzzle.
Some of you are asking, what the hell is an Epilady? It’s a small device that removes body hair by grabbing it and ripping it out. An Epilady has a rotating wheel, with little pieces on it that squeeze together and then pull. Hair gets caught in between and yanked out.
While there are lots of Epilady knockoffs, the Epilady company managed to establish their brand name as the name of the tool itself: check out their website for a lot of euphemistic language and pictures of smooth legs. My particular Epilady is the Legend, so everything I say here applies primarily to that model – I don’t know if other models vary in effect, or if they are pretty standard at this point.
This is a post about epiladying (is that a word?) your testicles. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Yanking out all those testicle hairs with a mechanical device?